Monday, May 29, 2006

Camcorder+Mouth+Editing



Hyperactive - Lasse Gjertsen

Decided to post something different today. Lasse Gjertsen is an animation student from Norway; you can check out more of his student work here. Very interesting stuff.

He says:
"Drumsolo" using only a camcorder, my mouth and timeconsuming editing :P NO IT'S NOT PROPER BEATBOXING, I KNOW. But that wasn't my aim either :P Trust me, my grampa is doing better beatboxing I possibly could when he's choking on his painkillers, sounds awesome!


My only question is, how wet was the keyboard at the end of it? Looks like a lot of spit, eh?

You should probably check out his "Machine Man" video too. Very cutting edge, but with a Lo-fi feel to it.

Inspired.

"Did Someone Order a Cunt?"


Alright, remember the last time you actually ran out of swear words to swear with?

Of course you do. Here are some words to help ensure you don't get tongue-tied the next time the maid washes your Man. United jersey with your whites.

And while you're at it, here's a picture for you to practise swearing at.


(courtesy of Kontraband.com)
Your Dad was in Brokeback Mountain

When your mate knocks at the door. Open it and say, 'did someone order a Cunt?'

If I throw a stick will you fuck off?

Go take your face for a shit! (put loads of emphasis in the word 'shit')

Thundercunt!

Hairybubbleofspunk

Son of a wankstained syphilitic motherless goat

You have a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle!

Cuntybollocks

Mongloid

Ya Fanbelt

You have a face like a slapped arse.

Cardboard face

Your mother is a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries!!!

Ass-raping-kiddie-fiddler

Are you Coconutman's love child?

ShitFacedCockmaster

Cum-guzzling thundertwat!

I used to have that exact same jumper! Then i got a job.

You so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped ya mama

Speculate on their mums hairy armpits. "She looks like she has got bob marley in a headlock"

You are as good as a cock flavoured lollypop

You have a face like a dropped pie!

Your face looks like it's been set on fire and put out with a shovel

Ebaums World Fan !

Fucknuckle

Twunt

Turbo cunt

Turd Botherer

Sheep enthusiast

She had a fanny like a wizards sleeve

An old classic. Hold up your middle finger and say "Smell your mum!"


Okay. If you're wondering, I didn't compose the above. I've got better things to do.

Audio posts will return on Wednesday, as I will be busy over Monday and Tuesday, orientating NAFA's freshmen. Hopefully that turns out well.

Until then.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Soviet Kitsch.


There are only a couple of songs that nobody could ever hate.

Jem's "Wish I" and "Just a Ride", Leslie Feist's "Mushaboom". Then along comes Regina Spektor's "Fidelity".

There are a lot of playlists in my iPod, but (somewhat ironically) I only listen to two of them. The ones named "Indie" and "Sunshine". "Sunshine" contains happy songs mostly. Iggy Pop, T-Rex, Gang of Four, BRMC, and heroin junkie Pete Doherty's Babyshambles. Oh, and not to forget Jem and Feist.

I haven't updated it until recently, on my Indie playlist, I heard "Fidelity", by Regina Spektor (pictured above).

Her voice, pleasantly similar to Leslie Feist's, with a more haunting PJ Harvey-like quality, lists (hold your breath here)
so much classical music, Bach, Mozart, Chopin and countless many more, The Beatles, Queen, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, Bjork, Radiohead, Nirvana, Patti Smith, Billie Holiday, Luis Armstrong, Nina Simone, Ella Fitzgerald, Vladimir Vysotsky, Eminem, Leonard Cohen, John Lennon, David Bowie, The Velvet Underground, Edith Piaf, so much more rock, hip hop, jazz, punk and possibly you as her musical influences.
Born in Moscow, raised in the Bronx, you may have heard of Regina on The Strokes's track, Post Modern Girls a while back. Legend has it she met Julian Casablancas in a vocal booth while the Strokes were on tour in 2003.

Her album "Soviet Kitsch" is in stores now, receiving a 6.8 from the indie authority, Pitchfork. One of the better pop/folk releases in recent times, it kinda reminds you of cola candy.

Sweet, refreshingly fizzy, and strangely addicitve.


The Strokes - Post Modern Girls (feat. Regina Spektor)

Regina Spektor - Us (highly recommended)
Regina Spektor - Fidelity (highly recommended)
Regina Spektor - Better
Regina Spektor - On The Radio
Regina Spektor - Summer In The City
Regina Spektor - Us (mc DJ Remix)

Her new album "Begin to Hope" will hit the stores on June 13th, so look out for that.


Alright, signing out now. Gonna grab me some grub.

G'nite.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

This Summer...



"10 Things I Hate About Commandments"


The Samuel L. Jackson part just kills me.

Audio posts will return tomorrow, with some Regina Spektor.


That's all folks!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Another Suppertime in The Hole


The Cold War Kids.

Playing at The Social in London tonight, this band once dubbed the "best unsigned act" on the Indie scene, is an absolute wonder. If you haven't downloaded "Hospital Beds" on my previous post, you really should.

Indie bloggers all around have lauded "Hospital Beds" as a potential song-of-the-year contender, and it's hard to see why not.

This band is a refreshing kick, to the recent rise of bands, like Franz Ferdinand and the Arctic Monkeys, who revolutionised/popularised hook-after-hook of jarring rock. Which isn't bad, really. But if you have grown-up from your old Black Rebel Motorcycle Club LPs, like Peter Hayes has, you'll love the Cold War Kids.

A touch of folk (or "freak folk", if you'd rather), they sound like The Band-meets-Devendra Banhart. Sparse percussion, two note bass lines, bluesy-rock and "fluttering Buckley-esque vocals", and as Ryan Schreiber adds, "at their heart, they write really good songs...", you can be sure of this act.

Their highly-anticipated album looks to hit the stores soon, and (as usual) every indie kid will be looking for Pitchfork's verdict. Until then, enjoy these cuts from their EPs.

Cold War Kids - Hospital Beds
(highly recommended)
Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry (highly recommended)
Cold War Kids - Tell Me In The Morning
Cold War Kids - The Soloist In The Living Room
Cold War Kids - Heavy Boots
(highly recommended)

The Band - Ophelia
The Band - Helpless (with Neil Young)

Devendra Banhart - Bluebird
Devendra Banhart - I Feel Just Like a Child


Signing out.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Down on Your Hands and Knees.


The Raconteurs.

Gawd help you if you haven't heard of them. And don't cringe, Indie kids- they're every bit as good as they look. Their songs have been played over the radio (that means bad in Singapore,'cuz we don't have a Indie/Alt. Rock station, but instead share the airwaves with the likes of the eff-ing Pussycat Dolls.), but don't take anything away from this "supergroup".

With the jarring, gilted-edged, eclectic, non-conformist, brand of alternative/rock/punk brought into the mix by Jack White, up with the talents of brilliant singer/songwriter (and indie darling), Brendan Benson, they both got together one hot summer and penned a song that "truly inspired them". Steady As She Goes, then.

That inspiration led to the formation of a full band, roping in two-thirds of The Greenhornes, Jack Lawrence and Patrick Keeler (also brilliant by the way).

Alright, enough from me. This should convince you enough.

Brendan Benson: "I
t's something totally new for me -- two songwriters working together. Dual vocals, dual lead guitars, dual songwriting duties."


The Raconteurs - "Steady As She Goes" (highly recommended)
The Raconteurs - "Store Bought Bones" (highly recommended)
The Raconteurs - "Together"

Brendan Benson - "What I'm Looking For"
Brendan Benson and The Well-fed Boys - "Metarie"
Brendan Benson - "Alternative to Love"

Their debut LP, Broken Boy Soldiers was released on May 15 in the UK, and 16th in the US. I haven't been to HMV in the past week or so; have been trying to curb my spending. When was the last time I stepped out of HMV empty-handed? Hmm. Don't think I have yet.

Alright, will try to scoot by to see if the album has dropped, then let you know.

And here's a song you shouldn't do without; they're all over the indie blogosphere now.

Cold War Kids - "Hospital Beds"


I'll probably introduce them tomorrow.

Until then.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Only Logical.


I just wish Singapore had Indie festivals like these.

Alright folks. The Desdemona Music Fest. takes place on the 23rd to the 25th of June in Ohio. It's pretty fab, with The Walkmen, We Are Scientists, Saturday Looks Good To Me, Rogue Wave... amongst others.

So while you can't be there, you can still get your paws on these music at HMV.

In the meantime, live the dream.
WE ARE SCIENTISTS - Inaction
SATURDAY LOOKS GOOD TO ME - Can't Ever Sleep
AU REVOIR SIMONE - Hurricanes
CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY - It Might Be Me
THE SPECTACULAR FANTASTIC - Darkest Hour
THE WALKMEN - Tenleytown
RADIO 4 - Sink So Low (Live)
HEARTLESS BASTARDS - Onions
MARGOT AND THE NUCLEAR SO AND SO'S - Skeleton Key
THE DOUBLE - Idiocy
RICHARD SWIFT - Lady Day


If the BayBeats organiser is reading this, could we have some better international acts headlining the 2006 show?

Perhaps some Cold War Kids.

Okay, gotta run now. Champion League Final's coming up.

Goodnight.

Monday, May 15, 2006

I Think He's Sand-bagging It.

While surfing for World Cup news over ESPN, I stumbled upon this nut. Tommy Smyth. It's really hard to miss him, if you click on the "World Cup" link on Soccernet.

From what I gathered, he's Irish, and as you probably can see, looks very much what you'd expect in a garden gnome. Stout, short, and full of crap. Broke his soccer commentary virginity in 1993, he has been terrorising the goggle box for 13 years now.

If you'd ask me, he good for a laugh or so. But shouting in your ear for 90 minutes? You may just cancel your ESPN subscription, as these guys did. Former Patricians will probably recognise some similarities to a fomer student there. The Game-boy-playing, nose-dirt-in-mouth, dandruff gourmet, aptly named C*** P**.

Anyways, I'm a tad sleepy now, so I'm gonna leave you with some oral exerpts from a recent Sportscenter episode, while I dream of my Lotto Zhero Gravity boots. Enjoy. (Audio posts will return on Wednesday. Will be off on a 2-day class Chalet, down at Downtown East.)


(exerpts from Sportscenter)
ESPN Anchorman: Alright, speaking of the (World) Cup Finals. FIFA head, Sepp Blatter, said last week, that any country that makes public racist displays will be docked points. It's a very noble, long-over-due gesture perhaps. This week, he's now backing off the comments. What do you make of it?

Tommy Smyth: Well, the problem with Sepp Blatter is that he has ten ideas, and eleven of them are bad, and not workable. I mean, how are you gonna dock a team three points because there were fans in the stadium who are shouting-racists. It could be opposing fans for all you know... I mean I see Neil Lennon play for Northen Ireland, and they were barking him the whole game. So what do you do? Dock them three points? These are just not gonna happen. Sepp Blatter was trying to be politically correct, and he made a real mess of it.

ESPN Anchorman: So that was just it, a politically-correctness stab...

Tommy Smyth: Yeah, well, Sepp is one of these guys- He gets up in the morning, and some reporter... and then later changes his mind. His latest crusade is that England shouldn't have a foreign coach; that England should have an English coach. Mind your own businsess Sepp!


(lifted from dangerhere.com)

As Champions League matches are aired around 3 pm in North America I tend to follow them on the web. However, for the Madrid Juventus game I sat down to listen to the great man and was not disappointed.
Before the game even kicks off, Tommy is off to a great start.
“There is a shot of Juan Carlos, the Spanish King. There is royalty here, besides ourselves.”
Good one Tommy, except you are in a television studio in the US watching the game on TV like the rest of us.

Ten minutes in, after some borderline guff, Tommy decides to add some levity to the situation.
“Well, I’ll make a prediction that there will be at least one Italian team in the final”
This is greeted with much mirth by his sycophantic co-commentator.

A couple of minutes later the great man informs us that "Thuram is not the greatest attacker in the world”
No disputing that Tommy, but if you meant to say attacking defender then you obviously forgot about the 1998 World Cup.

Only fifteen minutes into the game and Tommy produces a gem.
“Roberto Carlos, left back may be his address but you never find him home there”

A few minutes later he informs the viewers that, “it is all tactics, it so tactical out there” without any reference to any particular tactic. We also learn that “Nedved is a great story” without finding out just what kind of story that is.

These are just a few of the many non sequiturs that Tommy litters his commentary with.

Still only at 20 minutes in Tommy starts banging on about ‘catenaccio’ without actually explaining to his viewers what the Italian term for a certain defensive strategy means. As my father would say Tommy, “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing”

Four minutes later Ronaldo opens the scoring with a side footed shot around the advancing Buffon. However, I and the rest of the viewers must be mistaken because according to Tommy, the Brazilian, “slides it off the outside of his boot”

Shortly afterwards, the Nedved story continues apace and we are informed that, “he really hasn’t done very little in the midfield.”

My word, we are only half an hour into the game and Tommy is inching me closer and closer to selecting the Spanish commentary.

33 minutes and images of a firing squad outside the visitors dressing room are conjured up as Tommy declares that Madrid “don’t want to go to Turin with Juventus alive”

34 minutes - “What did I say about catenaccio?” Not sure Tomster.

38 minutes - “I don’t want to keep harping on about it but Figo is having a field day out there”
Nah Tommy, 8 references in the first 30 minutes to how Figo is getting the better of Birindelli is not excessive. Not at all.

45 minutes - Trezeguet scores for Juventus and Tommy delights his viewers around the world by telling us how the Frenchman, “bulges the corner of the auld onion bag”

My word, I need a cup of tea or something stiffer.


Second Half

Ronaldo is substituted and Tommy confesses that, “I have no idea what went on, complete mystery as far as I am concerned.”
Mr. Smyth, it is you who say it.

60:00 - Tommy gets all tangled up previewing the first leg of the Milan Derby, “Must he hard to convince yourself you’re playing on the road when you’re playing at home.”

66:00 - Tommy waxes lyrical about Juventus as they push forward, “They are a very very good side irregardless of how many men they have short.”

73:00 - Roberto Carlos scores a controversial goal and I eagerly await Tommy’s denouement.
“For my interpretation of that rule you should change that rule; passive offside. Rule was done perfectly but I still don’t agree with it.”
Clear as mud Tommy.

87:00 - “Synergy, I love that word - don’t you? Sometimes you keep the good wine till last.”
If by good wine you mean vinegar...

88:00 - Real Madrid are caught offside and Tommy elucidates what transpired. “There was a little daylight there (i.e. between attacker and defender - I think!) although it is actually night time. You know what I mean.”

To which his beleaguered co-commentator J.P. Dellacamera replies, “I’ve worked with you so long I actually understand you.”


What bollocks.

Goodnight.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Mes Amis. Football is Like Fencing. (Announcement)



Alright mates. Introducing the new SLK logo.
I've made two for you guys to choose, though personally, I really like B.

The idea behind A, was to basically show that we are progressing as a team. Still remember the times when we got whooped bad? Betcha can't. That shows how far we've come, how SLK has matured as a team. Though now it's mostly us handing out the whoop-ass, we are still progressing, and still learning.

For B, it's a sleek, modern, clean logo. Lower-case letters were used, to represent the youth that still lurks in our play, while the flame is a reminder to kick ass, Roy-Keane-style. It also represents the determined spirit that we should always play with. We're in the AFL, and we definately mean business.


So, lemme know what you think of it.
And when you do read this, message me on my PHONE, to VOTE which you'd prefer (for SLK FC players only. Sorry!), 'cause these have to be sent in to be printed on Saturday, together with our spanking new Home Kit.


Alright, signing out.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Days of Our Lives.


The past few days have been uneventful, been losing sleep over my Newcastle team in Football Manager 2005. Still pretty fun, though. Who would have thought that even the Magpies could grab the last Champions League spot? And who would have thought that Alan Shearer and Kluivert would miss 13 out of 15 penalty shots? Utter rubbish. Now when I'm awarded penalties, I don't expect them to score. I hate FM so much. But I can't seem to stop playing it.

We had the 4-Man B'day Bash for Augustine/Chubby/Daryl/Mark on Saturday, with SLK. Pretty fun, to catch up with the fellas, especially Mark, whom I haven't seen in a while. Highlight of the event? When Terence, I and Meng pulled off an elaborate plan, and caked Daryl. Heh, sorry man. Revenge is sweet. Like, strawberry-cake-with-banana-topping sweet.

Just kidding man, don't kill me when my birthday comes 'round.


Have you met a stranger, you knew for only 2 days, but knew you wanted to be with her forever? I can't believe I'm still thinking about her. Honestly. People around are getting attached, and watching DVDs on the couch together, and I'm still cutting a lone figure in front of the iMac.

I mean if I wanted to, I could have easily joined the DVD club. But the truth is, I haven't found someone I wanted to be with yet (save for her, obviously). Sometimes you see people together, young couples, pensioners, have you ever wondered, do they really love each other? Or is it societal pressure? Or is it a marriage of convenience? If you decide to go steady with this girl, just because you're single/bored, what happens when you find the one?

Then, sometimes it just hits you. I don't know why I liked her then, and I still don't know now. But I just wanted to be with her.

I could have asked her out, but I didn't. Was I still trying to play hard-to-get? Or did I even care to ask her out?

I'll never find out.

It's The Smiling On The Package.

Orientation is looming. Newbies, wannabes, and posers- the whole lot. And then you have designers. I'm pretty excited about it. Meeting the freshmen. My friend's joining as well, and her of course.

This year, word is going around that they're increasing the cohort. Bloody amazing. As if the facilities aren't stretched to it's limits already.


The lecturers will never forget to remind you how many design students graduate from school each year. But then, look around. Your Satanic headbangers, your Harajuku wannabes, your Bathing Ape pretenders, and the worst? Those who keep flashing/pretending-to-read their designer mags on the train, so that strangers can see. I'm sorry to say most of the people you meet around school are fakes.

The real designers, they're a rare bunch. They're the nerds with the Warhol spectacles, the geek who loves his Alan Moore comics, the kid who adores foreign films, your Indie fan, and the effortlessly stylish boys and girls. Which is probably why Armando hopes Class 1V will still stay intact for the next semester, at least.

A lecturer said recently, that the industry's perception of NAFA's students is going into the shitter. Well, he didn't exactly say that, but it's implied. No thanks to these fucking posers. Look at the whole cohort. To be honest, there are only a handful of talented people. The rest, are just there to make up the numbers. It's easy to pass, to fall through the crack, especially if it's a huge one.

Stefan Sagmeister: Only study Graphic Design if you love it. If you want to be a fine artist (or a potter, or a...) and study Graphic Design because of some vague promise of money, don't. It won't work. The people who love it will always do better work. And they will earn the money.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

The Kid With The Arab Strap




Ah. Back, finally. Just realised that Safari can't run Blogger proper, so now I'm officially on FireFox. And I can FINALLY use italics. Which probably makes me as happy as Tom Cruise.

Alright, busy-busy past couple of weeks. I haven't really got time to catch my breath; just tied up the last of my projects this afternoon. Yes, the Mrs. Singapore Magazine. To be entirely honest, doing up the mag isn't all that exciting; it's pretty much hard work, meeting deadlines and not-sleeping. But the Organisers were really fab people, and it was really my pleasure meeting them.

However, I spoke with their printer today, and he (the printer) is one rude, ignorant son-of-a-b****. I gave him all the necessary files he needed to print, but instead of using the .pdf file, he went to open the eff-ing InDesign file. Then he told me the links were missing. I asked him to use the .pdf file, and he told me there weren't any crop marks (the sodding crop marks were there alright). Which was probably alright by me, if he were civilised.

But the asshole, hinted that I didn't do my job right, and insinuated that he knew much more than I did. Alright, firstly, it is NOT my fault if you're probably a Primary 2 drop-out (which probably explains why he mixes Hokkien with English), on a two-pack a day habit; a blue-collar worker who goes to work in a singlet, slippers and a $5 pair of shorts, and gets paid to push buttons. Any monkey could do that for free, and doesn't even need to wear $5 shorts.

Secondly, I was practically around colour seperation machines, casting machines, and printing machines all my life. So, if anything, he should be listening to me. So the conversation would go something like,

Printer: "Your InDesign file have missing links. How you put the pictures inside?! I cannot read. Why you any how put one?"

Me: "Just use the .pdf file."

Printer: "Hello Uncle, your .pdf file have no crop mark leh." (sneering sarcastically.)

Me: "The crop marks are there. Tell you what. Open it in Photoshop, then flatten it."

Printer: "Noooooooo. Cannot. When print out, my fonts not nice. Will be jagged."

Me: "Look, your printing isn't fantastic. It looks like shit. An
d I'm being nice."


I had seen his previous work, and it is shit.

Alright, sorry for the long diss. That asshole spoilt my day.


Okay, if you're bored of looking at (your own), or even listening to Morningwood, you will love today's post. Actually, I was really into Nth Degree, but upon listening to the rest of their songs, they're just obssessed with erections. Heh, kidding. Indie doesn't need too many dumb-pop groups. The Futureheads is more than enough (though I like their music).

Alright first, kicking off with the most played song on my iPod the past week
- Love Detective by Arab Strap (pictured above). A bloody great track; Aidan Moffat drawling over the song with his raspy voice. If you'd ask me- first thing you should play in the morning after a one night stand. Hopefully, I can find time to drop by Straits Records this week to ask them to get me The Red Thread. I've got a bunch of Arab Strap tracks below, it's free, and legal. So, download them, and get hooked (then buy the albums, heh).

Class 1V, for the past couple of weeks, you must have noticed Wilmer's quirky Obscura monkier. Well, I didn't ask him, but it's probably this- Camera Obscura. Hailing from Glasgow, this band has been compared pretty much to Belle & Sebestian. Which is a good thing, to be compared to legandary, established bands. Sink your teeth in to this delicious blend of melodic-pop.

This just in- new Bloc Party tracks. Their set at Cochella- got the two new songs below. Also check out their website. Lotsa free tracks for you to enjoy, as well as fab remixes.

Also, before I end this post, Stellastar* and Giant Drag have hit HMV Singapore, so try/buy them if you can. Bloody great records.


Arab Strap:
- Love Detective (Highly Reccommended.)
- Fuck-a-Doddle-Don't
- Amante de Una Noche
- Mustard Pants
- Who Named The Days
- G.S.O.H.
- Drug Song For Paula
- "We Don't Make Each Other Laugh Anymore"
- Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)

Bloc Party:
- Waiting for the 7.18
- Uniform

Camera Obscura:
-
Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken
- Let's Get Out of This Country
- If Looks Could Kill
- I Need All the Friends I Can Get


Okay, before I hit the sack, a shout-out to Andre. 8TH MAY IS THALESAEMIA DAY. So if you see him, wish him a happy day. Or msg him is you don't see him. In advance, his left ball 'sez thanks!

Oh, before I forget, Saturday is Daryl/Chubby/Mark's secret B'Day bash. Daryl/Chubby/Mark, if you're reading this, then it's not much of a secret anymore. Still, pretend to be suprised, will you? Heh.

We're having a dinner till late, before we head to MoS.
Confirmed attendees: Samuel, Daryl, Chubby, Mark Seet, Adrian, Me, Dennis, Terence.
For those who didn't reply, you guys are stoopid, man. Which part of the "reply regardless on whether you're going" do you not comprehend? Ugh. Gotta resend the message.

EDIT: Final Confirmed Attendees: Samuel, Daryl, Mark Seet, Adrian, Me, Dennis, Terence, Jared, Andre, and probably Meng.